Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Less talking, more tequila
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
