they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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