So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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