On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This girl is more easily done than said...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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