I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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