Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
