I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
