dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
