The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
