I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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