Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
