Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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