Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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