is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
