Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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