I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
