So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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