I can tuck mytits in my pants
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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