I bet he comes in French.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
