Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
