I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
