Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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