8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Boobs are out for the taking
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
