i need an iv and a liver transplant
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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