Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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