My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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