there's paper in my vomit.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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