Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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