Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
