I've blown a few things in my day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
