I hate your face
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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