so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
