do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
