first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
only you would photoshop your dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
