you guys were way drunker than both of me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
