He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
