i don't plan on having that self control this summer
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
