I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
