Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
