She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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