a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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