are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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