He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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