that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
