i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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