They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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