she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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