Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize