If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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