I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
