i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
