so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
