I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
