I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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