if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
