Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
