In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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