just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
