its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
