All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
