i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
