I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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