i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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