You're my little dorito
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
