I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
