i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
