do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
